Most of my really close friends are married and some starting to have kids. I love being a part of their lives and seeing their happiness. I honestly LOVE seeing my friends truly happy and I just know that most of them really are, the kind of happiness that you don't fake and always find yourself searching for more. I look at them and they make me happy, they help suppress the cynic in me that thinks I will never find that kind of love. I have high standards and thanks to them, I have a great example of what a relationship should be like (I am a product of divorce and a dad that is a “reformed” wife beater).
Anyway, what I was getting at, is why are there some people who seem to think those of us single girls must be so sad and lonely waiting for it to happen to us? Who are you kidding? I am having a great f-ing time with my hetero life partner and the other singles in my life, as well as the couples and their children. I know that I am living a life that is different from those in relationships, but different isn't bad. Let's face it, I know that there has to be times that you are jealous I am able to do whatever when I want to.
However, there is a flipside to my statements in the last paragraph. There are so many times that I look at some of you and would give anything to have a husband to build a life with, and dream about our future together. I want kids and sometimes, I am so jealous that you have that beautiful child in your life that brings so much happiness to your life everyday. But that jealousy is not to be misinterpreted as bitterness. Although envious – and yes admittedly disappointed that you can't party with me until 2am because your mother in-law can't won't babysit overnight – I find so much joy from the love and happiness that surrounds you.
I am not bitter, not in the least. I have some of the same dreams, but I fully accept that now is not my time to have the exact same life and be on the same timeline as those around me. I am so so freaking happy (yes, I have my days) with the path that I am on right now and loving this adventure.* So don't feel bad for me, don't think I am bitter at you because your life is moving in a different direction and you reached a certain point before me (don't forget, I have accomplished things that you haven't, thats what makes us different and love each other even more). I have full confidence that those who are important to me will always be there for me, even if they have a spouse and a small child to put before me.
Its just a nice reminder for all of us, that just because we haven't reached our destination or have the slightest clue where the hell we are going, does not mean you can't enjoy the ride along the way. Life is happening now, stop waiting for something to happen.
*that might change if my hetero life partner ever leaves me --- Relax Bekah.. I am KIDDING!!!!
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